I’ve always been drawn to comic books; there’s something about the mythology which is very appealing. Without exception, every superhero (or villain, for that matter) is an outsider who either
- learns to control the innate powers they have possessed since birth or,
- transforms through some incredibly traumatic event and uses their new-found abilities in the service of others.
Both choices accurately describe My path into the business and the lifestyle. It is a psychically powerful thing to start taking professional appointments and/or begin to introduce kink into your personal life. The opportunity to fulfill your fantasies, as well as those of any particular partner, makes the interior life becomes so strong, so outsize, comic book comparisons aren’t completely out of order. At times, My life feels like it exists in a parallel universe far removed from that of most members of My family and everyone I met before the age of 25.
I read from My previous (handwritten) journals from time to time; life on paper seems to be a great deal more integrated than the realities of My everyday existence. I feel like 2 people inhabiting the same body, constantly switching from D/s to vanilla persona during the course of a day (depending on the level of stress I occasionally contend with, the number rises to 3). I feel very close to My X-men namesake, Jean Grey/Phoenix. For everyone who isn’t familiar with her, quick rundown: ridiculously powerful telepath and all-round good girl who happens to be possessed by all-encompassing universal force with a habit of destroying worlds.
I chose My name with some accuracy.
Feeling so powerful, invincible and, on occasion, possessed when I play always makes Me wonder if people coming in contact during the course of an average day sense the alternate person not very far from My surface. Or, that it wouldn’t take long for Me to reduce surroundings to ash when confronted with a particularly vexing problem.